Jackspeak

ALERT: Jackspeak

Jack and Charlie and I are sitting on the couch, trying to wake ourselves up after a long nap.

Jack: "Charlie, could you go get me my frog? The one Uncle Aaron got me from the aquarium? It's on my bed."

Charlie: "Okay."

Charlie climbs off the couch and wanders into their bedroom to find Jack's frog.

Jack: "You know, brothers are really good to have around."

Me: "They sure are, aren't they?"

"Yep."

"Hey Jacky, could you go get me my drink? It's in the kitchen on the counter."

"Okay."

Sons are really good to have around, too.

Jackspeak

ALERT: Jackspeak

Last week was "Family Connection Week" at Jack's elementary school, a week dedicated to encouraging students and their families to spend more time together. One suggestion was for students to ask a person in their family ten questions about themselves. I was the lucky person in the family that Jack decided to interview.

After the first question–"What's for dinner?"–received gentle redirection, Jack came up with the following questions for me. I didn't think it was important to include my answers. They sort of paled in comparison to the questions.

1. What is your favorite animal in the water?

2. What is your favorite height?

3. What is your favorite stuffed animal that is not a bear or a dog or a bunny, and is not pink?

4. What is your favorite thing to get for Christmas? Oh wait, I know what that one is for you. A hug.

5. What's your favorite kind of hairstyle–goth, or beautiful, or weird, or crazy?

6. What is the prettiest thing you've ever seen before?

7. What is your favorite kind of flying bird in the water?

8. What is your favorite food, that you haven't told me was your favorite food before?

9. Who is your favorite person? Not including you.

10. What is your favorite planet? Is it Earth?

Yes, Jacky. Today, it's Earth.

Jackspeak

ALERT: Jackspeak

We're all in the bathroom. Jack's in the tub. Brett has just removed a weird, Yosemite Sam-style moustache that he's kept on for most of the weekend. I'm glad.

Me: "Bretty, you are really more of a goatee guy, I think…"

Jack: "Yeah, you're more of a goatee guy, daddy. Because people with moustaches, they have skinny heads, and they have tall hair, and they use hairspray. And they're like, waiters."

Brett and I stop. We turn and stare in great confusion at Jack in the bathtub.

Jack: "Trust me. I know what people with moustaches look like."